You want the holidays to feel like they used to. Good food. Music you know by heart. Laughter that comes easily. Holidays often bring mixed feelings for families living with dementia. Joy and laughter sit beside stress and grief. If dementia is part of your family’s story, you can still have meaningful holiday time together.

Families do best when they adjust their expectations, lower the pressure, and focus on connection rather than perfection. The goal isn’t to recreate past celebrations, but to create new moments that feel good right now. A little planning and a few small changes go a long way.

Create a Sensory-Friendly Environment

Small sensory details matter more than you might think. Familiar flavors, soft music, and subtle seasonal aromas can spark comfort and memories when used thoughtfully. Maybe it’s the same album your family plays every December or the scent of cinnamon from a favorite recipe. These cues can help people with dementia feel safe and grounded.

On the other hand, flashing lights and loud noise can trigger confusion or anxiety. If decorations seem overwhelming, steady bulbs work better than blinking strings. Keep the volume low and the crowd size manageable. Don’t overlook the power of simplified traditions, either. You don’t need five side dishes when one beloved recipe will do. Watch how your loved one responds and skip anything that adds tension.

Include Your Loved One in the Preparation

Involving your loved one in holiday activities supports their dignity and creates natural opportunities for conversation. The key is to match the task to today’s abilities. Invite them to place napkins on the table, stir cookie batter, or fold dish towels. These contributions offer purpose and make it easier to be together.

Research on caregivers shows that when people with dementia stay engaged in meaningful activities, both the person and their caregiver experience less stress during special events. Even a brief, hands-on role can shift someone from spectator to participant.

Plan Ahead and Share the Plan

A little prep makes the actual day much easier. Travel and special events go better when you have a clear plan to manage emotions and energy.

Treat big gatherings the way you approach a day trip, even if you’re staying home. Decide on a realistic start and end time. Pick a quiet corner where you can retreat for one-on-one time if things get overwhelming. Think through transitions: Who arrives when? When will you eat? When might you pause?

Just as important: let other relatives and friends know what to expect. A brief email or text a few days before the gathering can set a compassionate tone and prevent awkward moments. You might write something like: “Mom repeats herself these days and gets tired after about an hour. Please greet her by name when you arrive. We’re keeping things low-key and planning a rest break around 3 p.m.” Sharing caregiving realities helps everyone show up with realistic expectations and more patience.

You can prepare your loved one, too. A two-line schedule with a couple of pictures can ease uncertainty for some people. Choose one “helper” who will stay close to your loved one during busy moments. These small structures make the day feel more predictable without feeling restrictive.

Stay Flexible and Protect Your Energy

Plans help. Flexibility helps more. Schedule events during the times when your loved one typically feels their best. If mid-morning works better than evening, honor that.

Watch for signs of overstimulation or agitation: restlessness, repetitive questions, withdrawal, pacing, finger tapping, verbal outbursts, or other similar actions. When you notice them, switch gears quickly. Move to a quiet room together. Shorten the visit. Switch to a calmer activity like looking at photos or listening to soft music. Small adjustments in the moment can prevent meltdowns and preserve everyone’s energy.

Your well-being deserves the same attention. Caregivers carry a lot during the holidays and burnout sneaks up fast. Build breaks into your day. Ask one person to be your backup while you step outside, lie down for 15 minutes, or sit with a cup of tea.

Joy does not vanish with a dementia diagnosis; it just shows up differently. Low-pressure, shared activities help people feel close and grounded. Sometimes a favorite carol is enough. Or 10 minutes arranging ornaments together. These small experiences often work better than a long agenda that exhausts everyone.

Practical Takeaways You Can Use This Season

• Map out the day. Decide on start and end times. Plan rest breaks and choose a quiet space for one-on-one time. Keep the guest list small or stagger arrivals so the house doesn’t feel chaotic.
• Prep your visitors. Send a short “what to expect” message a few days ahead. Offer two concrete ways that relatives or guests can help, such as cleaning up after dinner or sitting with your loved one after dessert.
• Watch dining details. Familiar flavors and warm aromas can encourage eating. Use clear labels if you’re serving multiple dishes.
• Have a Plan B ready. If the gathering feels like too much, pivot to something else: a quiet drive to see holiday lights, a video call with family, or cocoa at home and a holiday movie.
• Take breaks without guilt. Step away when you need to. Ask a trusted friend or family member to cover for you. Even 15 minutes can reset your nervous system.

If Your Loved One Lives in a Care Community

When your loved one lives in assisted living or memory care, you can still influence how the holidays feel. Ask the dining team how they honor traditions and whether holiday menus can reflect your loved one’s culture or faith.

Share any food allergies or preferences with staff ahead of time. If you want to bring a dish from home, check the community’s storage and reheating guidelines to ensure food safety.

Celebrate What Works Today

You can shape a holiday that fits today, not yesterday. Keep what matters most and let go of the rest. Adapting the celebration makes it easier for everyone to enjoy time together.

Charter Research offers support groups, workshops, and resources to help caregivers and families navigate the holidays and every season of life with dementia. Whether you need practical guidance, emotional support, or connection with others who understand, we’re here. Reach out to learn more about what’s available in your community.

Orlando: 407-337-3000

The Villages: 352-441-2000

Chicago: 773-300-1000